place a laurel wreath upon your head. you are sacred.
quite a few years ago, i placed a laurel leaf on one of mymaddogz to signify strength and high self-esteem. a quality i lacked due to childhood sexual abuse and the traumatic memories and self destructive experiences that followed. because i struggle with memory issues, which is actually one of the reasons i paint - to recall pleasant ones and make some sense of my life, i had no recollection of this image but was reminded by a friend this morning. connecting and loving another on a spiritual level is a critical element to healing our soul. we are spiritual beings. the body is just a shell. mymaddogz were conceptualized as protectors of one s ( my ) authentic self. they are the guardians of the soul. they are childlike and goofy representations of the many different sides of me/you. like fu dogs, they
What’s up with that thin membrane between here and there?
Have you ever woke from a dream crying and in conversation with a loved one that has passed? I just did, and, of course, I am wondering why this dear friend came to me today, in the midst of a much needed nap. There is, after all, a thin membrane between here and there and I can’t help but ask myself what is the message or meaning of this ‘visit’. I remember how we used to laugh so hard together that we cried and at the end of his life we cried so hard, we laughed. Somehow we thought the finality of this new reality and the absurdity that we thought we knew what our future would hold and that everything would be golden and we would be laughing on a beach somewhere in the Caribbean in the spring was funny. There is actually
Prayer and dreams of love passed.
The word "love" is apparently, one of my most used words on social media, along with the word "family". A year ago today, we said goodbye to our oldest, dearest friend and 4 years ago last week, my dad. Yesterday, I found out about my ex brother-in-laws passing. We hadn't had contact in many. many years but at one time we were very close and we were family. Love. Family. Are they lost? No. Do you think your physical body and your unconscious mind remember that love? Do we recognize that profound emotion even if we are unaware? Is love like muscle memory that awakens in you when you haven't used it or felt it after a loved one leaves this earth? Can an unconscious thought in a dream trigger an all encompassing wave of emotion that one forgets they are no longer here with you? Or
My tree cried. I thought.
Every blessed needle sprinkled to the ground as if it were mourning all Christmas past. With sadness it was disassembled today and all of its glistening adornments boxed away with hope to bring joy to our home once again. It was indeed a fire hazard. This past year was one fraught with boundless love and new life, laughter and tears, trauma, sadness, perseverance, doubt, health scares, aging parents and fragile circumstances and lightning strikes. As I cleaned the piles of needles up off the carpet, I told myself that the tree was not crying. ( it’s moments like this that I question my sanity ) 😳 I decided that it symbolically released all of the negativity that we as a family might be holding on too. We can bring in this new year and this opportunity for change with a focus